About NorwegianTony
My 🕷 Mission
This is the bit where you usually insert non sustainable marketing slop, harkening back to halcyon days of your history, when the reality is you have no history as you long ago sold your soul....possibly at the Crossroads Theatre in Bellvue. There may have been rain involed. And whisky.
But no. This is not that. Nor will I extoll my own virtues in a vainglorious attempt to dazzle you with instagram fakery. I am not even here to save the world, although the way things have gone since the turn of the millennium I'm not ready to rule anything out just yet. No I come here humbly and respectfully to speak with you about the future of the planet. It really is Spiders vs Demons and I know which side I'm on.
Sadly due to the contagious fear of others, and to my eternal shame I once engaged in the most horrific bigotry and commited arachnocide 😞 As we all know the excuse "I was only obeying orders" is not a viable defence. I make no excuses, I only ask forgiveness and understanding of the light by the web.
In the summer of 2022, I kept seeing baby spiders hanging from the peak of my cap. A few crawled up my arms. One day whilst practicing in my shed another did. At the end of practice and for some unknown reason I arpegiated an E Major chord. A melody and founding philosophy formed pretty much instantaneously.
Spiders
Crawling up your arms
You can be creeped out
Or you see them as friends
For another completely unknown reason I started channeling my inner Placebo for the vocals. I threw in demons and flies. Flies are bad. So are demons. People are strange. Spiders are friends. Within half an hour it was done. A few hours later I performed the song twice.
I had created an unusual grungy and catchy Marmite number that started debate.
People began enlightening me with their own spider encounters. Over time people even told me that whilst they still didn't like spiders they were no longer sending them to the Great Web in the Sky. Progress! Small moments that shape our destiny and help us fight the fake news - spread by flies. Spiders eat flies. #spidersarefriends. The circle of life and fifths.
It felt that something had changed. I had a theme, a purpose, a USP! And so I accepted my fate that I am here to spread the word about Schpooooders.
I started noticing spiders in venues, particularly in toilets which can be quite awkward. I started photographing spiders, sharing these with my daughter whilst trying my best, often failing, to not be seen taking pictures in the toilets. After a few drinks and weeks I became far less discreet. Now I generally don't care....